Author Topic:  Poem For GZS! written by me  (Read 2708 times)

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Offline Amar_Ramnani

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Poem For GZS! written by me
« on: 25 June 2012, 10:58:59 »
I wonder,I wonder
There are people on the server

Stuntman is helping
Ali is eating
Sander is showing attitude
Lightning is contuning friendship

I wonder I wonder
there are people on the server

Some are roaming
some are following
Some are finding pots
Some are having pots

I wonder,I wonder
There are people on the server
-Amar Ramnani

Offline IstuntmanI

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Re: Poem For GZS! written by me
« Reply #1 on: 25 June 2012, 13:12:14 »
Nice try, but it's bad.

Offline Amar_Ramnani

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Re: Poem For GZS! written by me
« Reply #2 on: 25 June 2012, 13:13:46 »
I just wrote it! first try!

Offline AliT

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Re: Poem For GZS! written by me
« Reply #3 on: 25 June 2012, 13:43:43 »
Ali is eating? what the hell?  :thefuck:

Nice try you did there!  :awwyeah:

but I have written many poems for school and got good marks. And I find no rythm in this.  :suspicious: It needs more rythm and meter. 4 essential things for a poem are:

The sound of the poem - When people read your poem out loud, or in their heads, they will pause slightly at the end of each line.

The speed of reading - Shortening or lengthening the lines can speed up or slow down the way people read.

How the poem looks on the page - Does the poem look light, delicate, with a lot of white space around the lines? Or are the lines packed solidly together?

Emphasis - Words at the end of a line seem more important than words in the middle.  :thumbsup:

And try to make the 1st and 3rd line, and 2nd and 4th line's last words same in a stanza.

Also you can make your poem better if you know what _____ is. [i forgot the name. Tell me the name if anyone knows] It is like butter - fly got 2 _____ and cup - board got 2 _____ too.


If pro is the opposite of con...
then what will be the opposite of progress?... :yaoming:

P.S Logic is a man's best friend :umad:

Offline Amar_Ramnani

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Re: Poem For GZS! written by me
« Reply #4 on: 26 June 2012, 09:33:11 »
hm! me too wrote many poems for school! and got good marks! but i was going somewhere and wrote in mobile! i dont have many ideas that time! i would better one AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

Offline AliT

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Re: Poem For GZS! written by me
« Reply #5 on: 26 June 2012, 16:53:37 »
Okay!  :thumbsup: but be sure that one does notCRITICIZE OTHERS as this one >.>  :yaoming:
If pro is the opposite of con...
then what will be the opposite of progress?... :yaoming:

P.S Logic is a man's best friend :umad:

Offline ErikHe

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Re: Poem For GZS! written by me
« Reply #6 on: 01 July 2012, 21:24:06 »
ali is eating XD

 

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