Ali is eating? what the hell? :thefuck:
Nice try you did there! :awwyeah:
but I have written many poems for school and got good marks. And I find no rythm in this. :suspicious: It needs more rythm and meter. 4 essential things for a poem are:
The sound of the poem - When people read your poem out loud, or in their heads, they will pause slightly at the end of each line.
The speed of reading - Shortening or lengthening the lines can speed up or slow down the way people read.
How the poem looks on the page - Does the poem look light, delicate, with a lot of white space around the lines? Or are the lines packed solidly together?
Emphasis - Words at the end of a line seem more important than words in the middle. :thumbsup:
And try to make the 1st and 3rd line, and 2nd and 4th line's last words same in a stanza.
Also you can make your poem better if you know what _____ is. [i forgot the name. Tell me the name if anyone knows] It is like butter - fly got 2 _____ and cup - board got 2 _____ too.